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<h1 align="center">Gender with Poly Speed Dating</h1>

It is very important to us that we promote inclusive events.  There
are myriad methods of gender identification, and there are many issues
regarding how people date and relate across and among gender lines.
We thus have left self-identification fairly open.  There are five
categories, and you should check off all the categories you feel that
you are.  When people indicate what they are looking for, they check
off any categories they are open to.  We then match people if there
are no aspects of who they are that are not being looked for by the
other side.  
<p>
The five categories are "Male", "Female", "Trans Male", "Trans
Female", and "Genderqueer/Other".  Trans Men identify as men.  Trans
Women as women.  Genderqueer is a more general moniker indicating a
general fluidity with (or rejection of) gender.  Often genderqueer people
will also have a primary gender that they identify as.  People can also use
"genderqueer" to indicate that they are more comfortable with people
who explore their sexual orientation or gender identity.  
<p>
Our understanding can be summarized in the following
rule:

<p align="center"><em>You will only be matched with people who are looking
for all the things that you identify as.</em></p>

Or,

<p align="center"><em>You will never be matched with people who have checked off a category that you have not said you are open to.</em></p>


And finally:

<p align="center"><em>Don't say you are open to trans or genderqueer people unless
you actually are!</em></p>

It is not fun for people to go on dates with people clearly not interested in them a priori.  
<p>
We are not allowing matching on "bisexual" or "pansexual".  We feel it
is enough to say the sorts of people you want, gender-wise, and then
match those potentials with you if they want you, gender-wise, back.
We are taking the position that the sorts of people you want does not
make up part of what gender you are.
<p>
We currently do not have an "intersex" gender category.  Reasons for
that are discussed <a href="gender_intersex.html">here</a>.  In
short, intersexed people may identitfy as one or multiple genders, and
we hope they will fill their forms out accordingly.  We feel that the
important thing to focus on for Poly Speed Dating purposes is the
person's gender identity and presentation, which is why we have not
made Intersexed a category choice.


<h1>Examples</h1>
Here are some examples to illustrate:

<h2>Generic Man Hunt</h2>
If you are looking for men, and check off "males" and nothing else, then you will not be matched with someone who identifies as both a man and a woman, nor would you be matched with someone who identifies as either a transgendered or genderqueer man.

<h2>Outside of Gender</h2>

If you do not believe in male and female as gender, and thus select
Genderqueer, and nothing else, as your identified gender, then you
will match anyone who has checked off "genderqueer" for who they are
looking for, regardless of what other boxes they checked off.  Of
course, if you also tell us you are only looking for men, then you will only get men
who meet this criterion.


<h2>Bois</h2>

A Boi might identify as a woman and a genderqueer.  They would
probably say they are only looking for women.  They would then only
get women who have checked off at least the woman and the genderqueer
boxes.

<h2>Female to Male Transsexual</h2>

You might select "Male" and "Trans Male."  You might also select
"GenderQueer" if you wanted to indicate a general fluidity with
gender, or wanted to date people who tended to enjoy gender as
something more open or vague.  You might only select "Trans Male" and
not "Male" if you felt there were people (who you wanted to date) that would date Trans Men but
not Biological Men (and indeed, there are such people).

<p>
Or, if you felt that you were simply male, you might select just
"Male."  The risk here is being matched with people who were not so
tolerant, which would be a waste of your time.  You might then also
check "GenderQueer" as a filter.

<hr>

Please <a href="mailto:info@polyspeeddating.com">e-mail us</a> if there is an issue or if there is something we should know!

<p align="center"><a href="index.html">Back to main page</a> ~ <a href="us_folks.htm">Who We Are</a> ~ <a href="mailto:info@polyspeeddating.com">Email Us</a></p>




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